Review Corner:
Robots on the screen, and that’s just the actors
Max Lux
Issue date: 9/23/04 Section: Life!
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Few movies have so tarnished the eyes of the public in such a manner that verbal abuse towards the writer of the film would be merited. Yet, this movie managed to find a way. How bad was this film? To give you a complete idea of just how incredibly abysmal Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow was, imagine your hand on fire, being eaten by a rabid chinchilla. Now multiply that by twelve.
Sky Captain starts off impressively enough, with an engagingly retro title scheme, flashing the initial credits in true 50’s, B-movie fashion, fading slowly to an aerial shot of the “Hindenburg III” docking onto the Empire State Building. What follows is an engagingly gothic view of a past that could have conceivably been.
The special effects in the opening minute and a half astound audiences with their artistic complexity. The scene is rendered in detail more fitting for an art gallery then a film screen. It’s as if the scene was painted, in meticulous detail, cell by cell, frame by frame, by masters of the field.
Then everything goes to Hell. The moment the first character opens their mouth to spew the most atrocious dialogue possible, you realize you just wasted five bucks or more. At first, this seems to simply be fitting with the retro tone of the movie; a 50’s feel from 50’s characters, and everything is right in the world. But after five minutes of seeing these bland actors talk blandly about exciting and death-defying events involving robots attacking New York, you want to go home.
Jude Law is the eponymous “Sky Captain,” who flies a Batmobile-esque WWII-era fighter jet against the mechanical monstrosities ravaging this helpless city, and threatening his reporter/love interest Polly Perkins (Gwyneth Paltrow).
Miraculously he succeeds, and proceeds to dive into a grand mystery involving dinosaurs, androids and Indiana Jones rip-offs as he and Polly fight their way to Tibet and beyond to fight what might be their last battle. Too bad the film makes no sense. Transitions are random, and nonsensical, requiring great leaps of imagination, which are just completely unreasonable.
Angelina Jolie appears for fifteen minutes to make the film have some sex appeal, then disappears. Characters die without cause, and without effect. A famous scientist is incinerated to ash, and there is no response.
Sky Captain is like a bizarre train wreck. To an artist, it may seem to be wondrous, even beautiful in a sense; a talking movie that should have been made silent. Yet, upon cursory examination, it is a abomination onto nature. But unlike a train accident, that requires more assistance and time to rectify, this film is worth no more of your time than it took to read this review.
Sky Captain starts off impressively enough, with an engagingly retro title scheme, flashing the initial credits in true 50’s, B-movie fashion, fading slowly to an aerial shot of the “Hindenburg III” docking onto the Empire State Building. What follows is an engagingly gothic view of a past that could have conceivably been.
The special effects in the opening minute and a half astound audiences with their artistic complexity. The scene is rendered in detail more fitting for an art gallery then a film screen. It’s as if the scene was painted, in meticulous detail, cell by cell, frame by frame, by masters of the field.
Then everything goes to Hell. The moment the first character opens their mouth to spew the most atrocious dialogue possible, you realize you just wasted five bucks or more. At first, this seems to simply be fitting with the retro tone of the movie; a 50’s feel from 50’s characters, and everything is right in the world. But after five minutes of seeing these bland actors talk blandly about exciting and death-defying events involving robots attacking New York, you want to go home.
Jude Law is the eponymous “Sky Captain,” who flies a Batmobile-esque WWII-era fighter jet against the mechanical monstrosities ravaging this helpless city, and threatening his reporter/love interest Polly Perkins (Gwyneth Paltrow).
Miraculously he succeeds, and proceeds to dive into a grand mystery involving dinosaurs, androids and Indiana Jones rip-offs as he and Polly fight their way to Tibet and beyond to fight what might be their last battle. Too bad the film makes no sense. Transitions are random, and nonsensical, requiring great leaps of imagination, which are just completely unreasonable.
Angelina Jolie appears for fifteen minutes to make the film have some sex appeal, then disappears. Characters die without cause, and without effect. A famous scientist is incinerated to ash, and there is no response.
Sky Captain is like a bizarre train wreck. To an artist, it may seem to be wondrous, even beautiful in a sense; a talking movie that should have been made silent. Yet, upon cursory examination, it is a abomination onto nature. But unlike a train accident, that requires more assistance and time to rectify, this film is worth no more of your time than it took to read this review.