Signs, signs, everywhere there're signs
E.M. Lissening
Issue date: 2/4/10 Section: Life!
I know he is enamored of me because of the signs.
You know, the "signs"?
As we learned from such movies as He's Just Not That Into You, the signs, quite frankly, are bull-crap and a chef salad. Yet we continue to "see" them, to pick them out by reading into every utterance and action.
Men, don't pretend you don't do this. (Actual conversation: first guy says he wants to tell Love Interest how he feels. Guy Two advises, "No, man, wait 'til she plays with your hair. That's love.")
I had to wonder just what signs are we seeing?
And are we reading them correctly?
I asked, first, how Ms. On the Prowl (thinks she) drops hints of her interest to lover boy. (Quick aside: Remember the days of middle school when it appeared to be much simpler? I asked my 13-year-old brother how he knew when a girl liked him. His words, verbatim: "I don't know. She talks to you a lot in school and just wants to be your partner and stuff." Those seventh grade girls are go-getters).
Things may not have changed much, though, as 18-22 year old girls may utilize any one of these techniques or more:
-She ignores him
-She singles him out in a group, talks to him more than others
-She flirts verbally, not physically. This may include being "fake mean".
-She flirts physically (touching on the arm, his hair, etc.)
That's all well and good, but does it match up with the hints Mr. Hopeful reads?
These are the signs he's reading:
-She goes out of her way to be around him
-She looks to him in a group situation to see his reactions
Of course, I repeated the process in reverse, following up the first question to Ms. Understood with what signs she sees from men.
-He holds her longer in a hug
-He tries to be where she is
-He looks at her to see what she thinks and if she think he's funny
-He touches her a lot
-He compliments her a lot
-He plays with her hair
You know, the "signs"?
As we learned from such movies as He's Just Not That Into You, the signs, quite frankly, are bull-crap and a chef salad. Yet we continue to "see" them, to pick them out by reading into every utterance and action.
Men, don't pretend you don't do this. (Actual conversation: first guy says he wants to tell Love Interest how he feels. Guy Two advises, "No, man, wait 'til she plays with your hair. That's love.")
I had to wonder just what signs are we seeing?
And are we reading them correctly?
I asked, first, how Ms. On the Prowl (thinks she) drops hints of her interest to lover boy. (Quick aside: Remember the days of middle school when it appeared to be much simpler? I asked my 13-year-old brother how he knew when a girl liked him. His words, verbatim: "I don't know. She talks to you a lot in school and just wants to be your partner and stuff." Those seventh grade girls are go-getters).
Things may not have changed much, though, as 18-22 year old girls may utilize any one of these techniques or more:
-She ignores him
-She singles him out in a group, talks to him more than others
-She flirts verbally, not physically. This may include being "fake mean".
-She flirts physically (touching on the arm, his hair, etc.)
That's all well and good, but does it match up with the hints Mr. Hopeful reads?
These are the signs he's reading:
-She goes out of her way to be around him
-She looks to him in a group situation to see his reactions
Of course, I repeated the process in reverse, following up the first question to Ms. Understood with what signs she sees from men.
-He holds her longer in a hug
-He tries to be where she is
-He looks at her to see what she thinks and if she think he's funny
-He touches her a lot
-He compliments her a lot
-He plays with her hair